Tuesday, 13 March 2012

Wang Lung-Wei Presents A Gentleman's Guide To Finger Pointing.

Hi, I'm Wang Lung-Wei, you might remember me from such films as Martial Club 2: Wong Fei-Hung Goes To Wisconsin and Frankie Chan's Better Living Through Facial Hair. Today I'm going to guide you through the top tips to finger pointing so you can become a top digit thrower like me!

Keep It At Nose Level

The first thing you should learn is just where exactly to point to when you've got your finger going. I always focus on the nose as it isn't low enough so it doesn't register and it isn't too high so that your hand will obscure your own face. The nose is the perfect spot for when you want the recipient of your doom finger to know you mean serious business!

Get Up Close And Personal Whenever Possible

Don't be afraid to get right into your opponents face. The closer you can get the more deadly your pointing can become and the more frightened your opponent will be. Maintain the finger at nose level and make sure to shake your hand in two second intervals to maintain energy.

Keep The Arm Straight

If close quarters pointing isn't possible and you have to point from a distance then make sure you extent your pointing arm as far as possible and keep it straight. A bent arm shows weakness and your enemy will laugh at you. Also try the meanest scowl you can muster to send the message that you're prepared to rip their throat out should opportunity present itself.

Accessorize Whenever Possible 

To really turn your pointing hand into a serious force to be reckoned with, use a prop if one is available to you. For example a simple byro pen can become a deadly weapon of destruction when put into your hand and this will more then make your opponent knows that they have made a grave mistake by messing with you.

Choose Your Words Carefully

A good finger pointing is nothing if you don't have the words to back it up. Whenever you've got your finger of fury in a frenzy, throw in a few threats that will make you look like a true finger pointing warrior.

Bring Friends To Show Off Your Technique

Should you ever need to show off your finger pointing prowess then make sure to bring some friends with you. That way they can all marvel at the amazing technique you've mastered and also show the enemy that you are truly a master of the finger pointing arts.

That's all for my Gentleman's Guide To Finger Pointing. I hope you've learned all you need to know to be a finger pointing warrior. Now go out there and make me proud!

Images courtesy of achillesgirl via the Wang Lung-Wei album on the heroic sisterhood facebook page. 
This article was not written or in any way endorsed by Wang Lung-Wei. This article was written as parody and is purely for comedic purposes.

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