5 Things To Love About Winner Takes All

Here are five reasons why you should love Wong Jing's extremely silly 1982 comedy Winner Takes All starring Patrick Tse and Wong Yu!

Number Five: Jet Pack Kung Fu

What's better then Kung Fu? How about Kung Fu while wearing Jet Packs! Oh yes, this is just a taste of some of the wild and crazy creativity Wong Jing displays throughout the film.

Number Four: Remote Control Body Suits

Another mental scene has Wong Yu and co-star Robert Mak don remote controlled electronic body suits that make Robert mimic Wong's every move. The set up and the subsequent pay off are worth seeing if you love slapstick comedy!

Number Three: Yo-Yo Fu

It's not all goofy slapstick and silly face-pulling. Winner Takes All features a few good bursts of action including a scene which has Wong Yu in Kwan Tak-Hing style Wong Fei-Hung garb and uses a yo-yo as an offensive weapon. Oh, forgot to mention, he fights ninjas in this scene. NINJAS!

Number Two: The Coolest Mofo In The Room

Patrick Tse makes like Roger Moore and plays a sly parody of himself as a almost Bond style jewel thief. His trademark glasses and signature smirk all come into play and you can tell ol' Patrick is having a whale of a time through out!

Number One: The Gambling Robot

looking like the bastard offspring of Robbie The Robot and a Dalek this ridiculous looking contraption plays against Patrick, Wong and Nat Chan in a silly hat for a deadly game of Mahjong. Despite the film being made in the early 80's this thing seems to have been stolen from the set of a 50's B-Movie.

There you have it, 5 Things To Love About Winner Takes All!

5 Things To Love About Flash Future Kung Fu

Here's five reason's why you should love Kirk Wong's bizarre Dystopian Sci-Fi Action Adventure film starring none other then Wang Lung-Wei!

Number Five: Futuristic Wonder Car

A Sci-Fi movie should always strive to create a setting that conveys the time period in which the film is set and this monstrosity looks like it was stolen right from the set of Mad Max 2. Screw The Delorean, I want one of these parked outside my house!

Number Four: Attack of the Neo-Nazi Chinese Karate Fighters

It seems Nazism has risen in the futuristic world of Flash Future Kung Fu and this time they know Karate. It's wonderfully bizarre ideas like this that remind me why I love Hong Kong movies. If you're wondering why this is happening, I wouldn't worry as the film has nothing closely resembling a coherent plot whatsoever.

Number Three: Zombie Arcade

Another What The Hell?! moment comes whenever we find the film's main characters in a bizarre place that seems to be some kind of Video Game Arcade. People huffing from gas masks, bare chested men flexing and depressing live concerts are just some of the delightfully strange and wonderful sights seen in this nightmare inducing place.

Number Two: Special Guest Appearance

Just when the film is hurtling through a crescendo of weirdness, things take an unexpected turn. Well, as unexpected as it can be with this film. None other then Elvis Tsui turns up as a speedo wearing Muay Thai fighter who faces off against our stalwart hero.

Number One: Real Man's Man

Of all the film's I've seen feature Wang Lung-Wei, this has to be the only one which he was the leading man. Also this is by far the manliest role we've seen him play as we witness him chop down trees, scoff down chunks of meat and take shots to the stomach in a manly fashion. It has to be to be believed.

That's all For today, check back soon when I'll be resuming my regular updates of reviews and articles right here at Chopsticks On Fire.

5 Things To Love About Mercenaries From Hong Kong

Here's five reasons why you should love Wong Jing's action adventure ensemble film Mercenaries From Hong Kong

Number Five: Behind The Times

One thing that always dates movies isn't so much the fashion or the landscape but the technology. This phone especially looks incredibly dated in a completely hilarious way.

Number Four: Ti Lung's Magic Goatee

Mid-way through the finale of the film Ti Lung inexplicably grows a goatee and his hair becomes about an inch longer then it was in the previous shots. Either it's just a case of poor continuity or it could be he does indeed possess the rather bizarre and incredibly useless ability to grow a goatee at will. I'll go with the latter option.

Number Three: The A-Team

Besides Ti Lung, Mercenaries From Hong Kong also stars a crack team of top Shaw Brothers talent including Chan Wai-Man, Nat Chan, Lo Lieh, Wong Yu and Wang Lung-Wei. Seeing this group of actors together makes for some excellent viewing.

Number Two: Co-ordinated Fashion Strike

Since Wong Jing managed to get these guys together he felt the need to have them all wear matching tracksuits during the film's run-time. A completely silly idea but one which ultimately works in the film's favour.

Number One: Philip Ko's Wig

Do I really need to explain this? just look at the god damn thing!

That's it for this entry of 5 Things To Love. Further apologies for the delay in my article but I will be posting it sometime during next week so I appreciate your patience and urge to keep a look out.

5 Things To Love About Like A Dragon

Here's five reasons why you should love Takashi Miike's live action adaptation of SEGA's Japanese Action Drama video game Yakuza.

Number Five: Dog Day Afternoon

While the main plot of the film concern's protagonist  and former Tojo Clan enforcer Kazuma Kiryu returning to his home turf in order to put things right which have gone wrong in the past, one of the sub-plots concerns a pair of bumbling petty robbers who find themselves trapped in a bank in the middle of a heatwave and no air conditoning. Their constant bickering and realising they are way over their head makes for some really funny scenes.

Number Four: The Dragon Of Dojima

Kazuki Kitamura plays the film's main protagonist Kazuma Kiryu and while he may not be an exact likeness of his video game counterpart he pretty much nails Kazuma's stoic personality. Also he looks pretty impressive in the numerous fight scenes he partakes in.

Number Three: Brawl For All

One of the video game series core game mechanics is the fighting system. As you play through all the titles you'll get involved with many martial arts battles. The series is known for it's brutally violent content and luckily director Miike doesn't shy away from it. While the choreography used is less over the top hand to hand combat and more down and dirty brawling it works and we get some really good fight scenes, especially the first fight between Kazuma and his nemesis Goro Majima.

Number Two: Feel The Heat

One of the most unique elements of the game's fight system are the Heat Actions. As the player is fighting a special meter builds up which allows them to use special moves such as stomping on a poor guy's face, smashing his head into a wall or slamming a bicycle down on him. When the meter is ready a blue flame emanates from the player's body. If this had been done by any other director then this is something that would have been completely ignored. Luckily Miike is a director who loves using wild and crazy ideas so applying the Heat Actions to the fight scenes is an excellent idea.

Number One: He's One Bad Mutha...

Every hero needs a good villain and Like A Dragon delivers with Goro Majima played by Goro Kishitani. Majima is one of my favourite characters from the video game series and Kishitani plays exactly as he is in the game. His eyepatch may be over the wrong eye but that's a minor complaint given that Majima's crazy yet at the same time incredibly humorous personality shines through.

That's it for this entry of  5 Things To Love. Be sure to check back later in the week when I'll be posting my next review.

5 Things To Love About A Better Tomorrow 2

Here's five reasons why you should love John Woo's sequel to the heroic bloodshed classic A Better Tomorrow. I decided to do Part 2 because I think everything that can be said about the first one has been said so instead I'm going to concentrate on the second film. Goes without saying this column will contain spoilers then again if you're reading this blog and you haven't seen A Better Tomorrow, what the hell is wrong with you?!

Number Five: Comic Book Heroes

Ti Lung returns as his character Sung in the sequel and upon being released from prison he pays a visit to a friend who happens to be an artist. We see that the walls of his studio are adorned with artistic renderings of the three lead characters from the first film. I think this was John Woo's way of trying to convey to the audience that the action you see in these movies are so fantastical they could only take place in a comic book. Also, the artist must be psychic as how else would you explain the fact he was able to accurately recreate key events from the previous film?

Number Four: The Twins Effect

At the conclusion of the first film. Chow Yun-Fat's character Mark Gor was dead. You have to wonder how exactly Chow Yun-Fat reacted to the news he was going to be part of the sequel. I believe it could have gone something like this:

Woo: Okay, Chow. A Better Tomorrow was a huge success, you ready a make the sequel?

Chow: You Mean Prequel.

Woo: Nope. Sequel.

Chow: But...my character died at the end.

Woo: Not a problem. We have this idea where a scientist finds your corpse then brings you back to life as a cyborg assassin and goes out and kills bad guys.

Chow: Urm....I don't know about that.

Woo: Really? Ti Lung loved that idea. Okay, how about we bring you back as Mark's identical twin brother Ken.

Chow: It'll do. Just pay me and give me back my car keys.

Number Three: Apologize To The Rice!

In what is arguably one of the more memorable scenes in the film is the introduction of Ken. The twin brother of Mark. Here we see him standing up to the insults of an Italian Mafia heavy trying to lean on him for protection money. It's a great scene that does an excellent job of establishing the character.

Number Two: Blood on the Hardwood Floors

If it's one thing John Woo knows, it's good action. Having cut his teeth in film making by working under Shaw Brothers director Chang Cheh, Woo was able to take all the troupes of classical martial arts films and apply them to contemporary action films. Substituting fists with guns, he used all the same techniques they used and was able to adapt them with great affect. The final showdown which sees our heroes storm the bad guy's base is one of the finest action set pieces ever committed to film without a shadow of a doubt.

Number One: He's Not Crazy, He's Just Stupid

In what has to be one of the most bizarre film performances ever to be featured in a John Woo film. Dean Shek shows more ham then a butcher's shop window as a former gang boss turned legit businessman who suffers a severe mental breakdown when he experiences a series of traumatic events. Now any decent actor would have used the opportunity to carve out a really harrowing but at the same time nuanced performance. Unfortunately Dean decided to do the exact opposite and went full retard. His performance has to be seen to be believed as you would think he was playing someone who was mentally handicapped not mentally ill. Watch out for the truly unintentionally hysterically funny scene in which Chow Yun-Fat tries to force a dribbling Shek to eat some food. Absolutely hilarious stuff.

5 Things To Love About Magic Crystal

Here's five reasons why you should love Wong Jing's sci-fi action comedy Magic Crystal

Number Five: Goof-ball Special Effects

Hong Kong films of this type were known for their creative if not unsophisticated special effects and Magic Crystal falls very comfortably in that category. Still, there are some very bizarre and creepy moments such as when you realize the crystal, which has fallen into the hands of the child Pin-Pin played by Ben Siu, actually has a mouth and can eat. It's as goofy as it sounds and I love it when a film uses practical as opposed to CG effects regardless of the end result.

Number Four: Chaplin Would Be Proud

One of the major attributes of Magic Crystal are the absolutely tremendous action scenes choreographed by Tony Leung Siu-Hung. One stand out sequence which takes place early in the film sees Andy go against a knife wielding thug armed with an umbrella which leads to some Chaplin inspired moves. Absolutely fantastic.

Number Three: She'll Cook You Dinner Then Kick Your Teeth In

Another great highlight is the role of Ben's mother played by Wong Mei Mei. A Shaw Brothers contract player through the late 70s and early 80s, Wong gets to really strut her stuff in the film and goes up against villain Richard Norton in an excellent throwdown. Sadly, this was her last screen role but you have to wonder how someone of Wong's talents would have faired working with someone like Sammo Hung or Jackie Chan. My guess would be fantastically well.

Number Two: Richard Norton, The Greatest Bond Villain That Never Was

Australian martial arts expert Richard Norton plays the main villain of the film and he has get his hands on the crystal by any means necessary. There's vague references made to world domination as to why he needs the crystal. This is compounded by the fact Richard has a desk with the world map on it and you just know that every bad guy ever with aspirations for taking over the world has one of these. Though, it's never made clear as to how exactly the crystal will help him achieve this.

Number One: Three Way Dance

I already mentioned this film has some brilliant action. The best is most definitely saved for last which sees Andy Lau and Cynthia Rothrock take on Richard Norton. The film really surprised me by just how fantastic the fighting was. I would even go so far as to say this is right up there with anything Sammo and Jackie were doing at the time, it's that good. Also of all the films Richard made in Hong Kong during this time, this has to be the best of them all.

That's my 5 Things To Love About Magic Crystal. Be sure to return to the blog tomorrow which will see the beginning of the Mao March Marathon!

5 Things To Love About School On Fire

Here's five reasons why you should love Ringo Lam's violent crime drama School On Fire

Number Five: Blood on the Streets

Ringo Lam isn't an action film director. He tends to do films which feature gritty, nasty and bloody violence and it doesn't get any grittier or nastier then in this film. It's fast, it's brutal and it shocks you.

Number Four: Lives Up To The Title

Ringo seems to love putting his characters through the ringer and no one else gets screwed over quite like the central character Chu Yuen-Fong played by Fennie Yuen. The tragedies in which her character is forced to endure come to a head when, in a moment of rage and frustration, sets fire to her school Library.

Number Three: Beautiful Tragedy

A good solid drama needs a good solid leading actor or actress and Ringo achieves this with Fennie Yuen. She gives an absolutely incredible performance that anchors the film's emotionally turbulent narrative.

Number Two: Blood on the Chalkboard 

The film's final act sees the central characters head into a collision course which culminates into a bloody confrontation resulting in a finale that brings everything to a satisfying conclusion.

Number One: So Good At Being Bad

One of my favourite Hong Kong actors, Roy Cheung, delivers one of his best acting performances as Brother Smart who revels in bringing nothing but torment upon Yuen-Fong. His character is so morally reprehensible that you can't wait to see him get what he deserves.

That's it for today. I thought I would do School On Fire as I've now decided the blog will not only concentrate on martial arts action but films from other genres such as gangland drama, comedy, thriller and even horror. This is an attempt by me to broaden my horizons as well as the appeal of the blog. Hope you enjoyed it. Check back tomorrow for my next Jetruary review.

5 Things To Love About Hong Kong Godfather

This is a first in what I hope to be a new series of articles in which I give five reasons to love a particular film. The first film I'll be taking a brief look at will be Wang Lung-Wei's ultra-violent cult Triad classic Hong Kong Godfather.

Number Five: Leung Kar-Yan's Pet Dogs

Leung Kar-Yan's character "Mad" Wei lives with his daughter at his garden nursery along with his two dogs. A German Shepherd and a Pug. This may seem very throw away at first but the dogs end up playing an important role later on in the film. Also the German Shepherd's name is Stallone. Gotta respect that!

Number Four: Wong Chun's Acting

The film's main villain Lan is played by a gentleman named Wong Chun and to call what he does acting in this particular motion picture would be a gross insult to the profession. He delivers his lines all the while not letting a single muscle in his face move. Occasionally he'll try and do something that is supposed to be a smile but it just looks like he's broke wind and not told anybody.

Number Three: Leung Kar-Yan Gets Serious

Given this is meant to be a dramatic Triad movie, everyone does their damnedest to give a serious performance and no one out of the entire thing tries harder then Beardy himself. I'm a huge fan of his and while he was very impressive when it came to performing martial arts he was never the most convincing of actors. Here you can see he's really trying his best to do some good acting but he doesn't quite hit the mark so scenes when he's supposed to be shedding a tear come off a little awkward but it's an endearingly wonderful piece of bad acting it has to be said.

Number Two: Norman Chu's Hair

It is often said that the 1980s was the decade that taste forgot and that would certainly apply to Norman's choice of hairstyle here. A jerry curl with a rat's tail!?!? You have to wonder how exactly Norman arrived at choosing that particular style when he signed on to star in this.

Number One: Blood On The Walls

For all the film's other wonderfully flawed elements, it more then makes up for it in the violence stakes. Featuring stylized brawls as opposed to traditional martial arts. Johnny Wang Lung-Wei literally paints the walls red with his characters' blood. The last 15 minutes are some of the wildest blood letting I've seen in a Triad film and it has to be seen to be believed.

That's all for my first 5 Thing To Love article. I'll be posting more of these as time goes on, in the mean time keep an eye out for my next entry in Jetruary!