Craptacular Cover Chronicles #1: A Better Tomorrow (2010)

You'll have to bare with me if this new column seems a little unfocused as I'm essentially testing the waters with this and thought it would make an interesting new feature. As a long time fan of Asian Cinema I often find that when certain titles are released internationally they tend to suffer from god awful cover art. Whether it was Jackie Chan's head stuck on Sly Stallone's body for New Fist of Fury or guns being photoshopped in the hands of actors in order to sell the false notion that what the unwitting consumer is purchasing is an action film, we have had to look at these monstrosities shaming our beloved DVD/Blu-Ray shelves.

As fans we have to look at these horrible examples of "art" when really all they needed to do in some cases is simply translate the text and use the original. I know DVD covers are probably a good way for a person who worked hard for that graphic design degree to earn some scratch but really, sometimes it just works to leave well enough alone and trust the people who are buying the product. So with that little brief out of the way, the first cover in which I will cast a critical eye is the recent UK release for the Korean produced remake of John Woo's brilliant A Better Tomorrow.

Now, at first glance it doesn't look too bad. They've essentially used the same cast photos used on the original Korean DVD/Blu-Ray release but when you take a closer look you begin to see just how naughty it really is. First thing's first. They mention it's from the director of Red Cliff, Mission Impossible 2 and Face Off. Arguably Woo's most successful Hollywood films bar Red Cliff of course. It's not so much they mention these films but the way in which it's used falsely implies Woo was the director of this film. Had they put PRODUCED BY instead then they wouldn't have had to make such a ballsy move, which is there to entice people ready to part with their money. Don't get me wrong, I'm not stupid, I know how marketing works but it's when stuff like this happens that it really annoys me as a fan of Asian Cinema.

The next part which to me makes no sense whatsoever is the addition of 2012. Now, correct me if I'm wrong but this title was released way back in 2010. Over TWO YEARS AGO! I know titles sometimes take a while to find their way onto store shelves internationally (Which is why the majority of fans choose to import) but why the hell did they need to add 2012?! Was it because the film is a remake? If it is then that's just moronic because there have been countless remake released over past few years that felt comfortable enough just to stick with the original title. You didn't see The Italian Job released as The Italian Job 2003 because The Italian Job is all you NEED. People recognise the title, see it's a new version and go see it. They don't care what year it was released. Utterly pointless but it could be worse, in other territories they were given the even more rage inducing title of A Better Tomorrow 2K12. The letter K is often used to shorten down the four digit number but 2012 only contains one zero thus replacing it with the K is COMPLETELY POINTLESS!!!! and is just a pathetic attempt to make it look cool!

At least whoever designed this was smart enough to be honest about Woo's involvement with the film. Now moving from the front to the back.

You'll have to forgive the quality of the image. I could not locate an image of it online and lack the means to do a proper scan, so resorting to my phone camera was my only resort but where to start. First of all, the images are nice. Stills and a cast photo of the bloke playing K-Mark so it's not too bad but read the blurb. Go on. I'll wait.

Done?

Did you spot anything? Are you sure. Well, let me address it anyway. Whoever wrote this HAS NEVER SEEN THE ORIGINAL. Oh, you heard me correctly. Or at least not paid enough attention to the original story. Now when you read it, everything seems fine. They mention the fight between brothers. One of the central themes of A Better Tomorrow but then we see "Again they are separated as children" Wait...what?! separated as children? again?! as in it happened in the original?! No. No it did not. In the original Sung and Kit were never separated as children, they grew up together. Hell they loved each other in their own brotherly way until Sung ended up in jail and his life as a criminal was revealed to Kit, it's what caused the rift between them that sets the events of the film in motion for pity's sake!. They never were separated as children. You would think that kind of blundering error should have been removed. I haven't had this much of a headache reading a synopsis since reading Ric Meyer's DVD linear notes. It's clear whoever wrote this was told to just say it's like the original.

There's also all that other stuff you see on these types of covers "Asian action cinema at it's best" and "Greatest Asian shootout ever" and other such stomach churning garbage we have to put up with. And they STILL don't point that Woo isn't the director due to a complete lack of film credits. Something that's pretty much standard on home video releases since the days of Betamax! I've never bought a DVD from the label that released this, Los Banditos but you can rest assured if I find them involved with the release of any other title in the future I will not be buying it. 

So there we have it, the first of what will most definitely be many critical analyses of DVD/Blu-Ray cover art. Ah, I feel so much better now!

Kickstart My Heart, Hwang Jang Lee!

The Warrior's Way (2010)

In the late 19th Century an assassin Yang (Jang Dong Gun) is ordered to take the life of the last member of a rival clan. Only when Yang discovers that the last member is still a baby he flees to the American west with the child in hopes of creating a new life in the town of Lode. Only his new found life to disturbed when a disfigured criminal who calls himself The Colonel (Danny Huston) returns to terrorize the townsfolk. To make matters worse Yang's former clan appear in an attempt to rectify Yang's betrayal.

Having seen this film it has been quite a struggle to put into words just how exactly I feel about. However having thought about it for a couple of days now I feel confident enough to put my thoughts in the written word. Here we have a film which is attempting to meld spaghetti western films with Asian martial arts movies. Something we've already seen before in films such as Shanghai Noon and The Stranger And The Gun Fighter. Two films which knew when to play to it's strengths. Sadly that is not the case with The Warrior's Way. As someone who thoroughly enjoys both genre of film, the idea of putting the two together makes complete sense as they compliment each other very well. What the film fails to take into account is that in order to make it work you need a very strong cast, a decent enough story and a director who can bring it all together. 

You would be forgiven in thinking the film has those qualities when you watch the trailer or see the poster. However it is just such an underwhelming experience that I felt nothing but disappointment when the end credits began to roll. First of the all the cast just seem to have zero chemistry. Lead actor Jang Dong-Gun has and I'm not making this up, at least a dozen lines of dialogue throughout the whole movie. Instead choosing to communicate his feelings to the audience with confused looks and ever so subtle smirks which is a shame when you realise this is an actor who has appeared in such Korean cinematic classics Nowhere To Hide, Friend and Taegukgi.

Kate Bosworth plays the love interest Lynne and while I'll give the actress credit for trying her damnedest to look convincing during some action scenes and trying to salvage some kind of connection with her co-star. Sadly not even she can save what was already an underwhelming mess of a film.

Two actors which look like they seem to be enjoying themselves as Geoffrey Rush and Danny Huston. Rush plays the Ron, the town drunkard with a murky past. The character is completely stock but Rush at least looks like he cares about being in the movie as opposed to Bosworth who looks incredibly frustrated for the most part. Like most actors in Hollywood movies, Huston seems to be having a complete ball as The Colonel and had he been in it a little more may have been the only thing to single-handedly save the entire film. Sadly he isn't given enough screen time to do that. Also the film has one of the most surprising casting choices ever.

Ti Lung.

Yes, that one!

He appears in the film as the head of the Ninja clan which Yang had fled. Oh don't worry, the film makers weren't smart enough to give him lots of screen time and well written dialogue. No, they did what any disrespecting Hollywood film would do. Have him appear in short scenes that add sod all to the film's narrative and have a horribly choreographed sword fight with the hero. That's how Hollywood treats legends folks. Kicking him in the balls and having him dance to Justin Beiber while wearing a mankini would have been more dignified.

One can't help but think this film could have been saved if it had been given to a much better director. Sngmoo Lee shows that while he can create a mostly visually pleasing film he can not seem to get good performances from his lead actors or create a film with a tight, well-paced narrative. Speaking of the film's visuals. It seems that the entire thing was shot on a sound stage and uses CGI backgrounds akin to the live-action Sin City which does seem to work more in it's favor as it gives the film an appropriate comic book/anime vibe.

However polishing a turd will only get you so far and not even the martial arts action can help matters. This has to be one of the most lazily choreographed action scenes I've seen this year. Even abominations like Ten Dead Men and Tekken had the decency to have good action. Here we have dull sword play punctuated by slow editing, annoying slow motion and completely devoid of any tension or drama.

If you should ever see a film which sees a popular Asian actor star along side a Hollywood star all the while having a good old adventure fighting dastardly villains and creating a film which is silly overall but incredibly enjoyable then don't watch The Warrior's Way. Instead go watch The Stranger And The Gun Fighter.